Artist Is Sleeping

Hello again, its been so long I haven't wrote any post on this blog. I was a lil busy with my life all this month. I started to paint one day I don't know how but it all started and I did some good paintings, some good art works. So was busy with all that and didn't got time to write any blog post. So again why I am here blogging again, am I free?? Yes I am free, I am bored of painting now. lol :P sad but true. I don't know why I don't stick with one thing in my life. It always keeps on changing, though I do what I love to do, but I love to new things and can't love one thing for always. I hate myself for this. 

Well Painting has not went completely off my mind but I don't feel like doing anything, its like the writers block,

You want to do something but at the same time you can't.

Okay lets see where it takes me now. I will try to keep on with art but not hardcore will make good art but sometimes only, will not keep on doing it always. I think this is the reason why I get bored with it and then I try to find something new.

 

 

I am a Looser

I made some goals at the start of this year and this is fourth month of this year and I am not following any of them. What a looser I am. I should be beaten with a stick, as my father used to beat me when I got home with poor grades on my report card.

I had goals like I will read 20+ books this year and this fourth month I have just read 2 of them. Check my reading list here. I also made goals for writing everyday but I just stopped writing 3 days after making that goal.

One very big problem with me is that I can't concern, I keep on changing my mind and this tends to start new things in my life, not small ones but big ones. Like now I have started drawing. Graffiti is my new love now, I am doing it daily, drawing new characters daily, and completely lost in it.

I have to have change my self with this. Physical fitness was also one of goals but it is just left with a "was" tag with it.

I would try to make some new goals this month and would buy some new books to complete my reading list of 20+ books this year. 

I want to get Famous!!

I am following a Wordpress blog who is by a boy like me and writes on the same topics as me. Yesterday he wrote a blog post in which he told about his success and what he has got doing that hard work he was doing. That was really a inspirational post but the post actually made me sad.

I am here trying my very hard to do my own things and get success in it but I can't even describe what is the feeling when you don't achieve something just due to your laziness and your own faults. I keep on taunting myself for this but not even a single hair on my body moves on it. I am really very depressed with my self.

What I am doing this time is something really interesting, I am just trying my hard get famous. Yea, you heard right I am trying my hard to get famous.

Famous, why I want to be famous?

I saw that people who are famous really don't need to do anything and there is no any problem with money because you get money doing the things you are famous for. I am working on most of the social networks like Facebook, Tumblr, Twitter, etc. to get famous. I know it sounds silly, I know it will not benefit me in any way but I feel like for doing this so I am.

Tomorrow when I will read this post I might feel surprised at myself that what I was doing and how I was actually handling myself. Lol

Loan Me Motivation

Motivation, everyone needs it in their lives, it is very powerful tool to control you and your mind. Some people just don't need it but some people die for it, I fall in the latter category. I seek every opportunity to get my self pump up with Motivation.

There are ingredients in the good life. Learning, Earning, Yearning.

- Christopher Morley

Motivation has played a very big major role in my life. In my 10th class(Boards) I was so motivated that my hard work got me 95% marks in class. My Father was so happy for the first time, my Mother is always happy with me what ever I get. But the 95% marks also made me happy, so happy that there was very less time between when I was 110% demotivated totally.

Fuck! Now what? Demotivated?

Ya, demotivated obviously I failed my next class. I had to repeat it and I passed with some very low grade marks that means I was still not motivated with the Fail stamp on my report card.

Its like, in any thing I get motivated for one time only, then it all ends and ends very softly. Like the ant completed walking to the top floor of the building but just before she can finish, she falls off. Similarly I, when motivated is at the top floor of the building but just before I can stand there I fall off.

Now, I want that motivation, that zeal, that zeal to do something in my veins. But that never comes, that zeal to write, that zeal to study, that zeal to ..... so on. I don't know how I build myself to write this today otherwise I am very lazy to even click anything else than Facebook and Twitter on Internet.

Wake Up, Oh My Lazy Soul

One and a half month has already been passed since this year (2012) started. I made so many resolutions and plans for this year but the laziness inside me don't allow me to get over my plans. I am so so lazy that I can't even describe it in words. For instance, if I am sitting on my computer and I want to close the door, instead of getting up and shutting it I will close it with the help of a stick which I have kept under the table(I have not kept it for this purpose but I use it).

I was waiting for my 18th birthday from so many years because after that I will be able to have a bank account and invest my money in stocks and shares and do all those 18+ things. But guess what it has been 5 months when I got 18, but not a single step has been made towards it.

I don't want to be like this but I can't stop myself being like this.

 I don't want to be like what I am now, but I also at the same time can't stop myself from being like this. Back then I was thinking like I am doing what I like to do but it isn't like that. I don't like being lazy, I don't like to just sit and watch those crappy useless Youtube videos. So why the hell I am doing this? I don't know!

Tomorrow is the only in the year that appeals to a lazy man. 

- Jimmy Lyons

 When I plan the other night to do something, Nothing comes to mind other than tomorrow morning and tomorrow what happens is I plan again the same thing for the next day and one day the plan dies. I hate myself for this. Time management was also among my New Year resolutions. I think I need to Re-Revise my goals and make them more for Weeks and Months instead of the year.

I think I have written more than enough and if you are reading this till now then one of goal has been achieved, i.e. to write something that is readable. :D

Wake me up

Is it all a dream? I feel like some times that this dream is soon going to end and I would be able to start all over again in reality. I hope so it is, because the life what I have made till now is just getting worst and worst.

I would be happy if this dream breaks and I become that young boy again. It is not like this dream, I am living is, so worst that I don't want to live in it anymore. If this is reality then I am just trying to improve it from past few years. I have learned till now that there are no shortcuts and working hard is the only policy to get with this life.

If I get another chance to live my life I am sure that I have so much experience that I won't let my life go like sand in my hands. I would do it simple and sensible.

PS: This post may be due to the Movie I just watched before writing this. The movie was "Inception".

Out of control thinking

 

 The why I am using this picture in this post is because I am feeling like this so right now. I am thinking and thinking and thinking actually I am thinking too much. This is what a problem I am facing from these days - I am thinking too much.

What I am thinking?

Nothing special, just my past and my future. 

Reading that above answer you might say "It is good to think about your future" but I am daydreaming actually with that Future word. I am lost always. I am not in present anytime I always keep on thinking about something. What I think? Let me share some incidents.

Today I went to play snooker with my friends(yea, I know how to play snooker :P) on the way we met a girl from our class of college(we all three friends were from same college). I just had few words with her(not more than 1 min.) and we move on to our snooker club.

When I came home I was thinking about my meet with the girl, questions like how I spoke to her? etc. keep rolling in my mind. I am not in love with her or something, it was just like I was thinking about her and I realized it so I made a post on it.]

I keep on thinking about the events all time it is like I keep on dreaming all the time. I am physically present in my college classes but mentally I am reciting those bad or good memories of my past. I also keep on thinking about my future plan or for a proper word Day Dreaming.

I want to get rid of this and I am trying my hard. But according to me mind is one thing the most hard to control among my all body parts. If this keeps on going I will most probably not be able to concern on anything I do. It is very hard to be active in the present situation.